Kids are smarter than us.

Kids leave out unneccessary words in sentences. We don't really need articles like a, an, and the. Articles were invented by sadistic English teachers. Kids invent words also. This morning, my little pumpkin explained to me that something happened 'yesternight'. It may not be in Websters, but it should be.

The Sweetest Words......

The sweetest words in the world are when Nicole (or my wife) say 'I love you'. For the last few months, everytime Nicole says it out of the blue, I would say back to her "those are the sweetest words you can say to anybody". For the last few days, she's been saying "I love you those are the sweetest words you can say to anybody" in one long, fast run-on sentence. I think "you have just won the powerball jackpot" might be sweet also. But until that happens, I'll opt for either of my sweeties saying those three little words.

Toys....

With all the uproar over toy recalls, I ahve decided I am only going to let Nicole play with good old American footballs. Until I look at the tag of her smallest football......MADE IN CHINA. They don't even play the sport, but they still make the toys. I am hoping that there may be a few toy companies left in the US. I am not against foreign made goods, but I want the little one to be safe.

Food Bribery

Our little one eats pretty well, she gets that from her daddy. But, she occasionally turns her nose up at foods she used to love; her current unfavorite is tomatoes. She used to scarf them down like they were dessert. Now, we have to bribe her to eat them. We promise her more chicken if she will eat just two bites of tomatoes. She does and gets the chicken. Notice, we didn't bribe her with chocolate. Dad ate that all by himself after she went to bed.......

Thank heaven for little girls

Thanks to my daughter I now know what the Pase Doble is, even if I don't know how to spell it. TV watching sure has changed for my wife and I in the last two years. Gone are all the intial shows (CSI, NCIS, and SVU). They have been replaced by Dancing With the Stars. The only fear I have from that show is that Nicole will grow up thinking the female dancers wear the correct amount of clothes. I hope only my wife and I see her belly button until she's..........oh, 21 or so. I would say 30, but if that is the case she may end up living with us forever.

Now, stop that......

We lay down for a nap. She falls asleep, then I get up usaually. But we often have aritual we go through first. She "wants daddy's arm", which means she wants my arm under her head. "Roll over and hold me" is the next request. As she struggles to go to sleep, her next request I must deny. Our faces are inches apart when she chimes "stop breathing". I am an agreeable dad, but I draw the line there.

Print paws

I know the experts say you are supposed to say words correctly when your daughter says them wrong. You are not supposed to correct them, just say them correctly and she will catch on. Phoooey on the experts. Some words are cuter the way a toddler says them. My current favorite is "print paws" for pawprints. I will not correct her and I also don't repeat it back to her. I feel confident she won't go to college saying it wrong. But if she does, I am going to recommend Clemson or a similar school.

Maybe Rachel Ray started this way......

We went shopping today, me and my personal assistant. A quick trip to the grocery store was all that was on the agenda. I give Nicole one bag of groceries to carry up the stairs. Memo to self- never again buy a house with a basement garage. I'm putting groceries away and she is just too quiet. I ask her what she is doing. The tiny voice answers "just cooking some food in my kitchen" from the other room. Since Santa delivered a toy kitchen for christmas, I have eaten 123,111 fake snacks. So, no big deal. Until, I walk around the corner. Well, I found out what she did with her bag of groceries. She is smiling at me and says "I am making cookies." I look down to see a toy pot full of toothpaste. The kitchen, her shirt, and her face also were covered in the most beautiful shade of blue. 3 washcloths, 1 load of laundry later, I have learned a valuable lesson.......Crest-flavored cookies taste horrible!